• Adrian Barclay

3-day bender doing nothing for office worker's caffeine withdrawals

"I serve the man and the bean," said a dusty and near-psychotic James Deacon.

James' attention to the turps over the long weekend distracted him from the black bean of wrath that is currently serving him a decaffeinated depression this afternoon.

James, 28, is keen to return to work where he can serve his twin masters and forget the errors of flippancy.

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