Aussies now rate days where they went outside

"I walked down my street. Today was a good day," Jane told her bestie on WhatsApp.

When pressed for a rating by The Masthead, Jane gave it a 7 out of 10.

"Yeah, I guess pre-Coronavirus something really good would've happened to get a rating that high, but now if I get some sunlight and a stretch of my getaway sticks, I'll take it. It's literally as good as it gets now. Except if you score toilet paper. That's like an 8 or a 9 for some reason."

Asked about her hopes for the future, Jane replied, "There's a future?"

Bleak stuff.