Catholic church claims there's insufficient evidence for Pell's miracle of the paedo vestments
"It's not possible for a cardinal to undress that quickly, even for child rape," reads a defence from the Catholic church.
"We only believe in miracles when our magic men do good. In what may shock people, we've decided to use this thing called evidence to say that religious magic didn't occur."
It is believed the High Court of Australia is putting some stock in the claim. Insiders say that there is no institution with more experience of paedophilia than the church.
"They're the real experts," a judge told The Masthead.
The denial makes an interesting turn for a church based on miracles with flimsy evidence.