• Pablo Thoreau

Iranian President: "Whoopsie! We goofed!"

Iranian President Hassan Rouhani has today admitted his country's involvement in the downing of a Ukrainian passenger plane with almost 200 civilians on board, using surface-to-air missiles.

"Listen fellas, I'm gonna have to own up to this" smirked Rouhani to a press gallery full of laughing journos. "You know shit happens, and a few of the boys working the missiles were pretty scattered from last night, you know how they get. I'll talk to 'em".

Delivering a stack of well-rehearsed quips and plane crash one-liners to a receptive and raucous audience, Rouhani used his trademark charisma and humour to smooth things over with an initially hostile crowd of foreign correspondents from the most important global publications.

Despite early concerns that an unprovoked attack on a few hundred tourists was going to sour international relations, Iranian leaders were ultimately able to avoid any further hostility with an admission of guilt, a cheeky grin and a promise to "work on it" in the new year.

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