Jesus promises to come back after 14 days, will be crucified at home.
Disrupting 2,000 years of tradition, a local carpenter in his 30's is causing a stir after extending his vacation by an extra 11 days.
Mankind's saviour promised to still assist with celebrating Easter traditions, however at this stage it looks like it will be next weekend at the earliest before he's able to get back on the cross.
"I just wanted to be extra careful, things are a bit crazy at the moment. If I got someone sick, I'd never be able to forgive myself, or mankind for all of their sins." JC told the Masthead. After getting a little preachy, he left the interview singing "Imagine" quietly to himself.